Names
by Bara Shibenjin
Summary: "This girl at school really likes dogs. She said she takes hers to a special park every other weekend and she asked me to meet her there with my dog and..." : Three hours later, Seto questioned exactly when he'd lost his mind. This was a bad idea.


Seriously random inspiration for this one. Had the idea for a bit then sat down and banged it out in two hours flat at 2ish in the morning.

Rated for language and innuendo.

Enjoy?

* * *

**. : Names : .**

* * *

"Big brother..?"

Oh hell no.

Seto hadn't heard these two words strung together in at least a year. That just wasn't something _'cool'_ to say around friends, according to Mokuba. Like friends made at sixteen – wait he was seventeen now since yesterday – meant anything.

Damn it, he was getting old... But age was hardly the reason he saw though his brother's strategies. He simply knew the kid. _"Big brother," _translated to _"I'm about to ask for something unpleasant."_

Quiet keyboard clacks began to fill the room again after the brief interruption.

"No."

It wasn't over. _Of course_. But he didn't have to stop working either way.

"Seto!" Practically a shout.

Apparently it was something important. Important as defined by a seventeen year old anyway.

"You don't even know what I was gonna say!"

"I know you were going to ask for something. If you thought it wouldn't bother me, you would've done it already without asking."

Silence.

Unexpected silence.

The clacks stopped for the second time, blue irises found grey in similar frames. And they hadn't lost their light, that concerned him more than anything.

The taut line of his lips broke but the younger of the two quickly blurted,

"This girl at school really likes dogs. She said she takes hers to a special park every other weekend and she asked me to meet her there with my dog and..."

The rush finally stopped while the implied detail floated about freely in the air now.

Mokuba.

Lying to impress a girl.

He didn't know whether to yell or grin. The teen was selective enough about his friends and it was rather nice to see he'd taken enough interest in someone to rely on a little falsehood. And too, lying meant the possibility of nerves involved as he knew his little brother wasn't the type to lie right away. Being that the younger Kaiba was the social butterfly, meant he must really like this girl.

Interesting.

Still...

"Dishonesty isn't the best way to start a relationship."

"R–Relationship ?" Mokuba's voice cracked. "I don't know about that. She's cute but..."

Seto's expression turned wry. "Drop the naïve bullshit. I know what you were up to in your room the last time you had Yugi over."

Mokuba scowled and muttered, "Would've been more if you hadn't made me leave the door open..."

"Boys. Girls. I don't give a fuck but _that_ is not happening while I'm in the house at the time."

"Prude."

"Mokuba..." A warning tone.

"Alright, sorry... So can I get a dog or what?"

"No."

"Seto, come on!"

"I'm not substantiating a lie just so you can cover your ass."

"Just like Pam _didn't _cover your ass about last week at the restaurant? Making out. You and –"

"Enough."

If someone asked him to explain magic, he would've started into discussion about his publicist, Pamela. The woman made a potential headline disappear. The Yakuza had nothing on her.

Seto sighed. No work was going to get done at the moment thus the laptop was shifted aside before he leaned onto the desk in the newly-emptied space.

"What kind of dog?"

In an instant, Mokuba's face spilt with a grin.

"I was thinking a golden retriever but I'll have to see what they have at the shelter."

"No."

"Why not?"

"American breed, isn't it?" The bridge of Seto's nose crinkled as if he'd smelled something particularly foul. "They don't breed animals for intelligence over there."

A grin morphed into a scowl but Mokuba didn't answer, he only sighed.

"Get something smarter. Smaller. Less noisy."

"I said I wanted a dog not a cat."

"That might be better actually..."

From what he understood, felines were more solitary. Good. The last thing he wanted was some huge furball sitting there next to his desk chair.

"We're getting a _dog _Seto. I'll be back soon!"

At least it'd be a test of responsibility, he thought, watching the subject of said test leave the office.

* * *

Three hours later, Seto questioned exactly when he'd lost his mind.

This was a bad idea.

It strained. The... creature... against the bright blue nylon looped around his neck. Any moment it would break loose and tear all over the place. He folded his arms. Where was the jingle amidst all the jostling? Didn't the thing have a name?

"No tags," Seto remarked.

"Not yet," Mokuba grinned though the expression was soon gone when an almighty tug jerked him aside. Tugging back, he finished, "I'm gonna ask her to go to the pet store to help me pick them out."

A second date already planned. Clever. But then, he _was _a Kaiba.

The elder of the brothers was mildly impressed though any compliment died on his lips when Mokuba suddenly dropped the leash. Seto backed up a step hastily.

But then, the creature wandered away past him, nose twitching constantly as a fuzzy gold tail swung haphazardly back and forth. Eyeing the beast as it darted from place to place in the room, he cringed inwardly. Kitchen counters were high enough that nothing would be knocked off but it just looked so...

Big.

What if it bumped into something..? As if to explore this point, the dog had moved too near a chair and let out a yelp that gave the CEO a start.

It'd hit its own head.

_Dumb dog._

From a kneel, Mokuba popped over the counter with a can in hand, one of the several dozen he'd been storing.

"What happened?"

"It hit its head."

"Oh," Mokuba voiced. Thuds sounded as he went back to went back to storing cans. "It's a he by the way."

Seto snorted gracelessly. Not like anyone could tell with all the blonde fur. But then, it was a golden retriever, it'd look funny with a haircut.

Needless to say, he was sure Mokuba had paid the shelter a visit before even bringing up the subject. That would explain the guaranteed first choice in breed.

The moment lapsed into relative silence. Nothing more sounded than aluminium cans against wood, clicking of claws across tile... That was going to take some getting used to. He frowned.

Suddenly the exploring was over, the dog darted over to him. Arms jerked from their fold across his chest as Seto backed into the counter with a thud, one of his boots hitting against the wood. The caution proved wholly warranted as the creature promptly invaded his space, nose all over the place though without touching.

The creature looked up at him, tail pausing in its incessant swinging. And for a moment, he stared down at its dark eyes, his own unknowingly wide. It was almost like the thing was cautious too...

But whatever happened, that tail started going again, the dog evidently deciding it liked him. The nudges at one of his hands cause a sharp withdraw. He hadn't expected the black twitching thing to be quite so cold. Seto scowled down at it. He didn't like surprises.

As if in spite of the look, that tail kept going even still. Then the creature pranced backward suddenly, half down on its front paws. A pink tongue lolled unexpectedly.

Was that supposed to be a warning or something?

The next thing he knew, its jaw had moved and a loud sound echoed. In turn, Seto looked insulted. Had this furry thing really just barked? At him?

"Go," he snapped then wondered why he was talking to it.

The dog shifted back up onto all fours though an expectant ear perk persisted.

Did it want to play or something? Seto scoffed. He didn't have time for that.

But the animal was stubborn, apparently, and darted back closer to nudge at his hands again.

"No," Seto barked, evidently in vain, "Stop –" He broke, somehow resisting the urge to pull up onto the counter and, hopefully, out of reach. "What the hell is his name?"

Thankfully the dog seemed to lose interest in harassing him and bounded off through the kitchen. Seto breathed a long sigh. He was almost relieved enough that he forgot.

Almost.

He turned. "What's his name?"

The clacks of a can atop another can seemed to slow down exponentially. With growing suspicion, he round the counter slowly to find his brother looking horribly close to a sudden decision test as to whether or not he was not too big to fit in the cabinets.

Seto snatched him up by the stripes, one shirt out of the endless variety the kid seemed to own. Suspicion was just made worse when Mokuba cringed, trying to swat his brother's hands off in eh midst of _still _not answering.

The elder Kaiba's jaw set, eyes narrowed.

"What did you name the damn dog, Mokuba?"

If it was something stupid or, god forbid, profane, the thing was going straight back where it came from.

Grey finally met blue.

Then the worst of all...

Mokuba opened his mouth and voiced the last kind of name his brother would ever have wanted to hear.

* * *

"How did you manage to convince him to let you get a dog?"

A light voice. More melodic in curiosity than the crass one that followed it,

"Yeah. Thought f' sure your brother had a stick shoved too far up his –"

"I'm still here."

Everyone promptly shut up, recalling the CEO's presence. He'd been silent until then, busy with the laptop against his thighs.

Leave it to Mokuba to invite his bunch of idiot friends the day he'd set aside for office renovations. This was practically hell. He almost wished they'd go to Mokuba's room just so he'd have the living room to himself. As big as it was, the moronic presence of two idiots could still be felt from his perch near the window at the far side of the room.

Well, two plus a dumb dog...

As if by invisible summon, the creature bounded up next to him and sat back on its haunches with an expectant look.

"We've been through this," he muttered only because he knew he wouldn't be heard. "I don't _play_."

But the dog remained even after he'd gone quiet and absently listened to the chatter again.

"Golden retriever, right?"

"Yep. Shelter said he's a bit of a mix though, half shepherd maybe. Probably abandoned by someone who couldn't afford him."

"Ah. That's kinda sad. If I had a dog –"

Seto scoffed, then drawled, "A dog owning another dog, now that'd be funny."

"Priss."

"Mutt."

Said mutt turned in his seat, glaring over the back of the couch as he responded loudly, just to make sure he was heard,

"Well someone's just a fucking ray of sunshine today."

At the rising voices, the dog had started to bark as he stayed near Seto. But the man had no mind for it, his laptop snapped shut as he started into the usual trade of insults with the very one who hadn't seemed to learn his place.

Needless to say, now that Mokuba was older, the filters had been smashed though.

With a sledgehammer.

And the needless squabbling escalated swiftly almost every time, just as it did on this occasion. But then, this was rising heat from a fight that'd happened earlier that week.

"Mokuba, get your friends out of here or _I _will."

"What?" A squawk. "Ya' want me out, get up an' do it yourself, pretty boy."

"I have better things to do than drag strays to the pound." A sneer.

The recipient of the comment scowled but he was out of insults anyway so he restored to names again, a bit louder over the sounds of the barking dog,

"Dumbass."

"Bitch."

"Yea' right. Like _I'm _the bitch?"

The retriever at Seto's side had grown louder than ever.

"Joey!" Seto bellowed.

The blonde gave such a start he fell off the couch.

"W–What?" he blanched.

They stared at each other in silence.

The blonde cringed, the brunette however broke into the rarest of expressions, a grin. Then he laughed, not necessarily the most pleasant of sounds though not entirely the cynical noise it typically was.

"What?" the speaker repeated, looking from brother to brother then even to the last guest who shrugged and offered a small albeit confused smile.

Mokuba tried to speak up, shoulders shaking with silent laughter,

"The dog..." he cleared his throat, tried to stop smiling. Finally he voiced, "Joey."

Then the dog came bounding over to the younger Kaiba.

For a moment there was nothing but Seto's fading laughter, the jingling of the dog's tags soon the only noise as Mokuba leaned, scratching at his ears.

Well, before a sole voice launched into shouts as he scrambled to stand up like that would make everyone hear him better,

"Why the hell did ya' name your dog after me?"

* * *

**. : End : .**

* * *

Thanks go to ValarSpawn for acting as beta for this oneshot.

If ya' liked it, review, simple as that.


End file.
